British View Explains Banking Crisis


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Editor’s Comment: Read this joke and think about it because it tells part of the story of American “securitization.” Then realize that the only debt — the one who got the dead donkey was paid in full once while his agent/broker received payment multiple times. THAT is why I say the debt is paid, there was no default and there should be no foreclosure because there is no enforceable mortgage. Nobody gets cheated out of anything by stopping the foreclosures except the brokers who want to become the largest landowners in U.S. History.

The current banking crisis explained  Anonymous

Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey’s died.’

Paddy replied, ‘Well then just give me my money back.’

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it.’

Paddy said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’

The farmer asked, ‘What are you going to do with him?’

Paddy said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’

The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle a dead donkey!’

Paddy said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’

Paddy said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898’

The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’

Paddy said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back.’

Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland .

14 Responses

  1. Jesus Christ Neil! Where the hell are you going with any of this? For some reason I think you and all of us could be doing something a lot more effective than this. But maybe I’m being too overly-optimistic.

  2. I read an article somewhere about Obama’s Dead Parrot economy. Maybe it was Mark Steyn.

    The problem is the dead donkey happens to be my house I live in.

  3. My case is similar, except the farmer never had a donkey, only a photoshopped copy of one.

    We need heads on pikes, of Lawmakers and Attorney Generals who have abandoned the rule of law, and their duty to the public for political contributions “bribes” from despotic criminals, the mummified severed hands of notaries who mass signed documents used to deny homeowners their rights, the tongues of lawyers who knowingly presented these false documents in court, eyes of rocket docket judges who failed the follow the law and rules of civil procedure, in a new wing of the Smithsonian Museum.

    There needs to be a place where we can show children what happens to public officials who betray their oath of office.

  4. all variations of this story lead to why fraud has an inexhaustible amount of faces and methods .. only limited by imagination

  5. more akin to the farmer could not deliver the donkey [body or not]
    word spread of dreaded donkey dying disease & as the price of donkeys rose the need for ddd-swap rose, till everyone found out
    there was no donkey just 2 guys & a story..
    fukem…i want a head on a pike!!!!!

  6. This is actually a VERY old joke that I had heard at least 30 years ago … What’s not funny is that many Irish are imprisoned today after defaulting … same story as here ,, prices were escalated by tons of cash/credit in the system free for the taking (Ireland was and is a major center for international banks and companies to launder profits and avoid taxes) ,, rental properties were nearly non-existant at the time as they were all turned “condo” to cash in .. people need to have a place to live so they paid the exhoritant prices.. supported at the time by a booming economy … then it was all crashed so the bankers could cash in on the next phase of the scam…

  7. so we have all been scammed by the federal government and the banks via fannie/freddie , so thats ok no jail time. those who are still paying upside down mortgages (remember obamas speach responsible homeowners) and those already foreclosed on fraudulenly were part of this coverup. the rest of us still have pending suits continue. But in my neighborhood a couple swindlers forged tax returns and sold fraudulent oil investments to the tune of 40 million they are both in jail for 90 years a piece. With the money they stole they bought “5” properties in my county. One property happens to be across the street from me. it is a 4000sq/ft house country loking 2 story in the middle of no where on a lime stone road with well/septic. we suppose the buillder was given a large sum of money in cash to build this home. There is no mortgage lien. then try to sell. (turn bad money to good) well the home never sold and these guys were sent to jail in june 2010. the house is listed as a government lis pendens. moral of the story lie, cheat , and steal go to jail. Lie , cheat and steal but have the name chase, boa, wells fargo and get a free get out of jail free card and lie, cheat and steal 700 billion from tha american people but steal 40 million go to jail for 90 years.

    question to all of us fighting. now they have settled…..isnt settling an admission of guilt??? how are the judges going to take this settlement is the question. i am hoping for our sake thats how this will be portrayed as just that an admission of guilt. my note is forged and my loan was approval was fraud. in 1991 i was approved on my net income mortgage could be no more then 25-27% of your net income. in 2006 now we were now “approved” on our gross income and on top of the gross the unscrupulous mortgage broker added what ever she wanted small enough so we would not notice because at closing its a rush to get the papers signed barely giving you any time to read all the paper work and ask questions. little did i know i wa s” approved” on my gross income (remember income tax, medicare, ss subtracted = net) but actually i technically never was approved i was put into a stated income loan. god help us all please pray

  8. @nabdulla

    Come on, we just needed a little comic relief…of course, you know we of all people realize the seriousness of the situation…but if you lose the ability to laugh, all hope is lost…

  9. @ All (so far)….
    OK, enough already….

    “Editor’s Comment: Read this joke and think about it because it tells part of the story of American “securitization.””

    We can laugh and joke now because our knowledge and UNDERSTANDING of the situation has passed the point. But someone is now in trouble, just now coming on board and doesn’t have a clue. And you wanted to bring them up to speed. How would YOU explain “securitization” to them. Try explaining the concept of “daylight savings time” to a child or someone who doesn’t even know how to tell time.

  10. carrie, lol donkey poop on dimon face

  11. Actually, what really happened was the farmer knew the donkey was dead and had purchased synthetic swaps, never told anyone he had transferred ownership of the donkey, and said the kid, “paddy” if you will; defaulted on payment for the donkey, the farmer has been collecting on the swaps at 100 cents on the dollar because of the systemic risk that would be created because AIG was the counter-party and they had no reserves on the swap contracts. When Paddy learned he was not going to get paid on the swaps he held the american government hostage and threatened to have the chinese sell US Treasury holdings, unless they bailed out the dead donkey contracts.

    Than the farmer hired Oliver Stone to make a movie showing how farmers and swap providers were not veterinarians and how they were all caught off guard by this episode of donkey death. “We need the money now or we will have substantial systemic Ass Purchase risk around the globe” and AIG rep quickly said. Mule liquidity is already drying up and everyone is afraid to buy mules. Save the mule market damnit! they all have a great laugh and 1.3 trillion is poor ass trades gets socialized. The end… Oh yeah, did i mention that all laughed?

  12. Yeah…and the donkey came back to life and walked off into the sunset…after he pooped on all the bankster’s faces…sorry;)

  13. And then reason returned to the land and Paddy was thrown in jail for twenty years.

    As long as we’re making shit up……

  14. The donkey wasn’t dead, he was just resting…

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